Stories at The Well
WELL STORIES
Community Worth Fighting For
When life feels loud, messy, and unpredictable, true community shows up. This story reflects how one family discovered that meaningful discipleship does not require perfection, quiet rooms, or ideal circumstances—only people willing to step into the street for one another. In every season, community is worth fighting for.
On any given week, you might see something similar to what just happened to me.
After the 9 a.m. service, the one heavily attended by families, I was outside by the parking lot catching up with friends. All parents or about to be parents. Kids running around everywhere while the parents were trying to have adult conversations. In the blink of an eye, a toddler having the time of his life darted just beyond his dad’s immediate reach. Four dads went into standby mode for the inevitable. The toddler did what toddlers do and ran into the street.
No one panicked because everyone moved as if we had practiced it. The two dads closest to the toddler moved toward him to bring him back to the sidewalk. The other two dads stepped into the street to ward off any cars that might come near. Conversations were barely disrupted. The toddler was safely returned to his dad and continued to live his best life without anyone’s safety being jeopardized.
This moment is a microcosm of what our family-oriented Community Group looks like and the type of community Brittany and I longed for when we joined The Well and began searching for a group. Let me explain. When The Well started meeting in person again as COVID regulations eased up, my wife Brittany and I found ourselves in an unfamiliar spot: disconnected from community. There were new faces on Sundays. Some Community Groups were still not meeting in person. We had a toddler and a second child on the way.
We noticed that even though there were other families with children in the group we were attending, we were the only ones who brought ours to discussion time. Even though no one said anything about it, we felt self-conscious if she cried or was fussy because we did not want to interrupt or cause a distraction.
Brittany and I met with Tory to ask if there were other parents, in our mostly young and single church at the time, who also brought their young children to Community Group where we would not feel like such a distraction. When he could not think of a group like what we were describing, he encouraged us to start one. A family-oriented Community Group for couples who found themselves feeling what we felt.
He connected us with a couple with twin boys under a year old who were willing to host, and he encouraged us to be that group’s shepherds. We met with the couple, realized we had a lot in common, and embarked on what has now become a four-plus-year adventure and blessing.
Our Community Group has changed a lot since it was just two couples and four babies. Since we launched, we have welcomed many visitors and several families. Our current makeup includes single young professionals, a retired widow in her 80s, couples without children, first-time expectant couples, and four families with at least two kids. We have sent out two families overseas to follow the call to share the Gospel. We have seen seven moms announce pregnancies and six babies be born, while two more are expected as we speak.
Our group lamented and mourned with Brittany and me through a miscarriage. We have prayed together for couples who desire children but continue to wait in God’s timing. Some nights, there are more kids than adults in attendance. Needless to say, our Community Group not only looks different than most others, but it sounds different too.
Some nights can be loud, and we might pause to finish a sentence because our babies are learning volume control or feeling big emotions. Sometimes we detour from the curriculum because a little one just learned how to say hi and wants to greet every person in attendance. Other times, our most experienced parent, and resident grandma, will step in to play with the kids to keep them occupied.
No Tuesday is ever the same. One thing is certain, though. Our children are witnessing their parents exalt Jesus, fight for community, reproduce disciples, and send others to impact the world for the glory of God.
Yes, it can be messy, but it is never too much.
Mark 10:13-16 is a well-known passage about Jesus correcting his disciples who were trying to keep children from going to him, and subconsciously we can think that we should find a way to not disrupt the work of discipleship happening in CGs and get babysitters for our kids. And, as Tory likes to say, yes and amen for thinking of others and staying home during certain seasons.
But the passage reveals so much more upon closer inspection. The word “rebuke” used in Mark to describe the disciples’ actions is a strong word (ἐπιτιμάω — epitimaō) meaning that the disciples were blocking access to Jesus. In response, the word in Mark describing Jesus’ reaction was “indignant” (ἀγανακτέω — aganakteō) and is equally as strong. Jesus felt a righteous grievance, a deep moral displeasure, over the children being kept away from them because the truth is, we are all just like the children in the passage: utterly dependent, bringing nothing, and having no claim.
Shepherding a family-oriented CG was born out a feeling of inadequacy for being too much, too loud, too messy, but the journey has been a reorientation to the truth that God meets us where we are at no matter how messy we are and that we’re not too much for what Jesus did on the cross.
Not every community group will sound like ours on a Tuesday night, and that is exactly the point.
Not every community group will sound like ours on a Tuesday night, and that is exactly the point.
Community does not have one look. It has one purpose: to walk together as we follow Jesus through every season, every mess, every loud and quiet, and every hard and beautiful night.
What Brittany and I have learned shepherding this group is that the shape of your community matters far less than the decision to have one.
So whether you are a young family afraid your kids are too much, a single professional who does not know where you fit, or somewhere in between, find your people. Fight for community. Because the people who will step into the street for your toddler are usually the ones sitting across from you on any given night.
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